***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
