I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
