Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
