My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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