Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
