You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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