No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
