dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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