OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
