It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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