Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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