Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
