There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The power of my boobs compel you
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
