I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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