i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
