never play flip cup with pint glasses
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
