Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
