yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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