so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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