He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
