i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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