community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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