I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
