I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
