I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All the doctor said was why
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
