Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
