I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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