i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
