Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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