fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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