goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
