is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
