neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
