Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
