Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
