I'm lost and stupid without you.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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