Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
