so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
