I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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