I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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