please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
