I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would ride that face into the sunset
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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