I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
