i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
