You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it glows. i had to have it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
