Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
