I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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