so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
