uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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