did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
