their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Mom said you looked used
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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