We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
